When I feel myself dipping into an all-too-familiar rabbit hole

of worry and focus on everything that is going wrong

(that hole, with its darkness and dankness and suffocating closeness)

I’m trying to recognize the good things more. 

I’m trying to step back – just a little –

and remember everything that has gone right. 

I’m reliving the silliness of a joke that’s not that funny,

because we’re up too late one night.  

I’m singing a song in my head just to remind myself of its beautiful lyrics.

I’m marveling at friendships that have lasted decades – 

how their histories are intertwined with mine, 

we know each others’ stories like they are our own.

I am giddy over making new friends

(so much rarer, the older I get).

Friends who bring fresh energy and perspective.

We may not have decades-long history (yet)

but they are no less dear.

I’m savoring the smell of freshly-cut grass.

I’m visualizing my son’s perfect, perfect smile

(complete with missing front tooth).

I’m describing the plot of my favorite book to myself.

The rabbit-hole is still there, but 

I’m reminded that there’s a whole garden that surrounds it. 

I’m trying to recognize the good things more.