I don’t know if I believe in reincarnationbut in a way, I find it terrifying -in my darkest moments, with no comfort to be found in believing that, at least some day, all of this will end. Unlearned lessons cannot be left behind,when I shuffle off this mortal coil - no; they will be there, waiting, … Continue reading Whispers
Author: Courtney
Alchemy
I saw this quote by Sarah Durham Wilson a few days ago, and it’s been stuck in my head: “Theway you alchemize a soulless world into a sacred world is by treating everyone asif they are sacred, until the sacred in them remembers.” This idea speaks to me, for so many reasons. It’s the Golden … Continue reading Alchemy
Light Through the Cracks
As a perfectionist, I put a lot of pressure on myself. A completed project could always be done better, a piano piece practiced more, a meal better cooked. As someone who has lived with perfectionism for a lifetime, it goes without saying that I’ve always seen mistakes that I've made as bad – signs that … Continue reading Light Through the Cracks
My Buddhist Gift
Research professor, lecturer and author Brene Brown has said, “You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you cannot have both.” I’ve dealt with chronic anxiety my whole life. I intensely overthink, worry, play out hypothetical situations to the “nth” degree, and lose sleep. This anxiety has transcended all aspects of my life … Continue reading My Buddhist Gift
Sharis
I was homeschooled when I was a kid. This was in the late 80s, early 90s, before the internet or the wide array of networks and social activities available to connect homeschooling families. Without the resources available now, my parents had to figure out how to do it on their own. Academically, they did pretty … Continue reading Sharis
That Imperfect Love
A dear friend of mine said to me recently that she struggles sometimes to express herself to those close to her because she wants to make sure each sentence is formed perfectly before she says it. She agonizes over an imperfectly constructed sentence, worrying that it will not convey her full meaning, or somehow not … Continue reading That Imperfect Love
In Which I Describe In My Sibling Group Chat What May Or May Not Have Been A High School Fever Dream: A Photo Essay
No idea what triggered me to remember something from 25 years ago but as soon as I thought of the Diversity Dancer pep rally, I immediately knew I needed to ask my siblings if they remembered this. None of them did. Despite my long history of (mostly) truthfulness, and my absolute assuredness that this is … Continue reading In Which I Describe In My Sibling Group Chat What May Or May Not Have Been A High School Fever Dream: A Photo Essay
The Weight That’s Left Behind
A quickness in the breath A clearing of the throat A flexing of the knuckles To keep oneself afloat Hands are used to to push Through hours and through days Whispering encouragements And building up with praise Work through others' tensions Massage away the pain They walk away unburdened And thank you for their gain … Continue reading The Weight That’s Left Behind
Church Camp
I think I speak for all parents of school-aged children when I say that summer is the absolute worst. I personally spent the first 5 years of each of my kids' lives waiting for them to be old enough to attend public school, thus cutting down the daycare bill. The first day that all three … Continue reading Church Camp
The Gray
I’m sanding my rough edges And trying to descend From the hill that I kept dying on I’m trying to make amends My breath, it comes out ragged I don’t know what to say I’m trying to move from black and white To living in the gray So rigid and inflexible Unable to see the … Continue reading The Gray
Pocket Sized 