A dear friend of mine said to me recently that she struggles sometimes to express herself to those close to her because she wants to make sure each sentence is formed perfectly before she says it. She agonizes over an imperfectly constructed sentence, worrying that it will not convey her full meaning, or somehow not … Continue reading That Imperfect Love
In Which I Describe In My Sibling Group Chat What May Or May Not Have Been A High School Fever Dream: A Photo Essay
No idea what triggered me to remember something from 25 years ago but as soon as I thought of the Diversity Dancer pep rally, I immediately knew I needed to ask my siblings if they remembered this. None of them did. Despite my long history of (mostly) truthfulness, and my absolute assuredness that this is … Continue reading In Which I Describe In My Sibling Group Chat What May Or May Not Have Been A High School Fever Dream: A Photo Essay
The Weight That’s Left Behind
A quickness in the breath A clearing of the throat A flexing of the knuckles To keep oneself afloat Hands are used to to push Through hours and through days Whispering encouragements And building up with praise Work through others' tensions Massage away the pain They walk away unburdened And thank you for their gain … Continue reading The Weight That’s Left Behind
Church Camp
I think I speak for all parents of school-aged children when I say that summer is the absolute worst. I personally spent the first 5 years of each of my kids' lives waiting for them to be old enough to attend public school, thus cutting down the daycare bill. The first day that all three … Continue reading Church Camp
The Gray
I’m sanding my rough edges And trying to descend From the hill that I kept dying on I’m trying to make amends My breath, it comes out ragged I don’t know what to say I’m trying to move from black and white To living in the gray So rigid and inflexible Unable to see the … Continue reading The Gray
Home
There is no home without you. I’ve come back to the house before, when you haven’t been here. It’s a house, not a home, and it transforms the minute you get back. Or before – before there was a you that became a part of us. I lived in other places, other houses. I got … Continue reading Home
My Best
I did my best until I couldn’t anymore and suddenly, one day, I stopped. I’m still recovering.I spent a lifetime at my best. Ceaselessly pushing, holding myself up. Everything at its peak. Running on all cylinders, all the time. Nothing less. I spent years on eggshells as I waited for my best to pay off. … Continue reading My Best
Michael Is Terrible At Delivering News – Part 1
A multi-post blog in which I detail the many, many times Michael has botched telling me important information. These will include, but not necessarily be limited to, The Time He Proposed, The Time He Decided To Tell Me He Wanted Kids, The Time He Called Me To Tell Me He Won Big At A Casino, … Continue reading Michael Is Terrible At Delivering News – Part 1
Gardening
When I feel myself dipping into an all-too-familiar rabbit hole of worry and focus on everything that is going wrong (that hole, with its darkness and dankness and suffocating closeness) I'm trying to recognize the good things more. I'm trying to step back - just a little - and remember everything that has gone right. I'm reliving … Continue reading Gardening
Girl
Hello to the little girl that was me years ago, before I got older, grew up, and did the things you're supposed to do. . Hello to that girl, who stayed with me, living quietly in my brain most times - but sometimes moving to my stomach: shaking, and trembling ("Oh, my nervous stomach," I … Continue reading Girl
Pocket Sized 